Why Do We Try So Hard to Impress Others?

What is our infatuation with living a perfect image in other people’s heads?

Why do we want people to look up to us?

What is it about impressing people, that we’d go bankrupt to do so?

Idea of impression

The idea that based on what we have, people will like us more is a lie. Unfortunately, It takes some serious life experience in order to understand that.

We live in a society that is built upon materialistic principles. We’re born to believe that the nicer things we have, naturally the more people will be interested in us.

I have fallen victim to this and it has followed me into all stages of my life. Whoever had the coolest car, nicest house, or the newest technology was always the most popular.

In order to combat this idea, we need to change our own perspective. We need to be comfortable with the idea that we won’t be liked by everyone and that’s okay. We need to save ourselves from financial strain by learning before it’s too late.

Buying a nice car to impress a male or female, wearing clothes or jewelry that we cannot afford, and being embarrassed by it, needs to stop.

No one ultimately will care what you own, and if you get in the mindset of one-upping others, you’ll go broke with debt and unhappiness.

Shifting your mind away from others can help you fix this mentality.

Perspective

So what’s the purpose of changing your perspective?

Being that everything has a price in society, the cost of material items can add up rather quickly.

Instead of looking at items in a way that puts us on a higher scale in society, we should look at each item for its practicality. Basically, will it serve a purpose that’s useful to me, or will it just be there for others to see?

If you answer yes to the last question, then you should walk away from that item.

Save yourself before you can barely keep your head above water.

Why?

We all want to feel important, useful, and/or followed by other people. Unfortunately, there isn’t a point where one will stop in order to achieve this. They will hunt at any cost.

We not only lose ourselves in the process of impressing others, but we often can overshadow our own self-worth. We will beat ourselves up because we can’t meet those demands, which in turn will damage us. We will overlook our own needs and desires so that someone else’s is met.

So, why do we try so hard to impress others?

It’s because our society has taught us to do so. The world thrives off of this idea. The big-name company makes millions of dollars and collection companies stay in business because we will often try to buy something we can’t afford using credit. (Which is a talk for another day.)

And what do you do about it now?

  • Take positive steps in other directions. Ones that do not include “those” groups of people. Make different friends.
  • Look to do something for yourself. Like achieving a personal goal.
  • Plan out decisions, rather than making ones at the moment.
  • Know when to say no, and understand that people won’t like it.
  • Ultimately, do what’s best for you.

Happiness

People will argue that not everyone deserves to be happy, but I would disagree. Everyone deserves happiness at some point in their life, if not all throughout. Happiness is such an important concept for individuals to achieve because ultimately that is the human goal: to achieve our desires, to have the ones around us to share those successes with, and to be able to worry less and live more.

What are the basic qualifications one must do to meet this goal?

First, we need to understand what happiness is and know that it does not have a uniform meaning or message. It won’t be the same for everyone.

Happiness is the feeling of warmth around one’s heart and the enjoyment of constantly knowing that they’re doing the best that they can.

Happiness is different for each person and there is no universal definition as to what brings us the feeling. There are several things that make me happy but only a few that top them all. They include exploring with the ones I love, creating memories with my family, and finding a good inner relationship with myself. These things make me feel complete and provide me with peace.

Now more people than just myself could agree that those things make them happy as well, but do they have to meet those requirements to be happy? No, those are just things that bring my individual happiness. As a person needs to find what those are for themselves. No one has the ability, with confidence, to tell another what to do to make them happy. (I dare not try).

How through suffering we can find a deeper meaning

Through out life we are hit with events that stray us from the path of happiness. These events persuade us to think that it is truly impossible to be happy. Events as stated could be the loss of a loved one, losing your great job because the economy tanked, or getting into an accident that leaves you needing to take care of yourself medically. You can agree that these events are forms of suffering and misfortune.

Suffering, like happiness, is a point of view. We can look at terrible events and learn from them in a healthy way or we can simply do nothing. Understanding why things happen will ultimately change our lives forever, because you’ll never find that answer. There won’t be an explanation.

When a parent loses a child, that parent believes that all is lost. And although I believe no parent should have to bury their child, our world is cruel and wicked. The parent of a lost child will suffer but ultimately they will need to decide what to do next. They can forever put themselves in misery about what happened or they can make their child’s life meaningful.

My father passed away with cancer, and I ask myself often why he deserved that diagnosis. He, himself, asked that same question but there was never an adequate explanation, even from his doctors. As of lately, my happiness has dramatically dropped. I feel gutted on the inside. And what little feeling I have left inside me, is pain. It’s easier to let that pain consume me, but I know, now, in my heart that my father would have never wanted me to live a life of misery over this. Instead, he would have wanted me to enjoy life, smile, inside and out, and honor my wife and family. As hard as it is without him, and truly it is hard, I know that he will always be with me on the inside. And I find happiness in that thought.

Everyone deserves to be happy, but deciding what kind of happiness we want is the real question. We can search for a truer sense of happiness that lies in much more complicated things.

When you understand that happiness is a fluid, ever-changing and diverse concept, which applies to everyone in unique ways, you will gain the best piece of evidence to show yourself that you’re onto something special.

Enough of that.

Cheers,

Alexander

I Want To Write. But Why a Writer?

“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”

― Sylvia Plath

Writing is, in its truest form, a beautiful picture that you get to paint inside the heads of your readers. Before long, they will know the characters as if they’re real and believe that they too had a part in something much bigger. A real sense of belonging and purpose. But why would anyone want to spend most of their lives typing behind a computer to entertain others? Are people who have a passion for writing crazy? Is it truly worth all the hard work? 

A passion for writing is powerful. Having the opportunity to voice your opinion, share your stories, and dream about what could be, is so fulfilling. I remember when I first discovered my interest in the subject. In college I read many fantasy books, old-fashioned literary stories, and lots of self-help books. I was hooked. The way words could be arranged on a piece of paper and have such a profoundly deep impact on the reader was like nothing I had ever experienced before. No matter where I was in life, happy or sad, scared or depressed, literature offered an escape.

Some of the toughest moments in my life were medicated with a good book. As funny as this may be to admit, books saved my life. I no longer felt alone because Harry Potter felt alone too. I no longer felt like a directionless compass because Gandalf taught us, “Not all those who wander are lost.” Words are fantastic things. You write them about people and they can hurt. Words can admit joy, laughter, and sometimes even tears. All of these feelings I felt compelled to share with others. If you as a writer can capture their emotions and take them along with you on a journey outside of their norm, then you’ve truly succeeded. Replacing the chaos in everyday life with an emotion that makes them feel better about themselves is something special.

Unfortunately, being able to do that as a writer is super difficult. It’s often even more so embarrassing because you have to be terrible at it, before you can be any good. There is no “he/she was just born with it,” you actually have to work your butt off to learn all the rules, all the genres, and most importantly, the practice of writing. You have to write when you want to sleep, write when you’d rather be on vacation, and write even when you don’t have the urge to do so. What separates a true writer from those who just love the idea is discipline. You need to set routines, schedules, goals and keep to them strictly. First rule you need to learn is to not put all your eggs into one basket. You’re most likely not going to write a hit novel your first time. (Boy did I have a tough time with this one. I believed I had a gold mine story, and then three years later I was still working on it. I excused my behavior with the normal statements, but the idea itself wasn’t very compelling to anyone other than me.)

So why choose to write you ask? Writing seems extremely difficult to be any good at it and it is not the most prestigious career to fall into, but the freedom is worth it. In the private or public sector of work you’re told what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. It’s incredibly difficult to infuse new ideas into a system that has worked for so many years, but the truth is not everyone is the same. Having a free thinking mind is powerful. You pick the direction you want to focus on, and you choose when the world will see that vision. If you want to stop midway through your project and work on something else, you’re certainly entitled to. What a beauty that is? Fantasy one month or a murder mystery the next. The possibilities are truly endless.

As a writer you will challenged yourself to always be the best you can be. You will fail a lot, something that I myself am waiting to figure out. You’ll be rejected by many. But if you are to make one person happy with your writing then the rest will melt away. Always have faith that you can achieve the impossible, because if you don’t, no one can.

I want to leave you with one more inspirational quote for you to think about, and remind you one more thing. The sword is just as mighty as the pen like Edward Bulwer- Lytton said, and I believe, even more so influential.

Cheers,

Alexander