Why Do We Try So Hard to Impress Others?

What is our infatuation with living a perfect image in other people’s heads?

Why do we want people to look up to us?

What is it about impressing people, that we’d go bankrupt to do so?

Idea of impression

The idea that based on what we have, people will like us more is a lie. Unfortunately, It takes some serious life experience in order to understand that.

We live in a society that is built upon materialistic principles. We’re born to believe that the nicer things we have, naturally the more people will be interested in us.

I have fallen victim to this and it has followed me into all stages of my life. Whoever had the coolest car, nicest house, or the newest technology was always the most popular.

In order to combat this idea, we need to change our own perspective. We need to be comfortable with the idea that we won’t be liked by everyone and that’s okay. We need to save ourselves from financial strain by learning before it’s too late.

Buying a nice car to impress a male or female, wearing clothes or jewelry that we cannot afford, and being embarrassed by it, needs to stop.

No one ultimately will care what you own, and if you get in the mindset of one-upping others, you’ll go broke with debt and unhappiness.

Shifting your mind away from others can help you fix this mentality.

Perspective

So what’s the purpose of changing your perspective?

Being that everything has a price in society, the cost of material items can add up rather quickly.

Instead of looking at items in a way that puts us on a higher scale in society, we should look at each item for its practicality. Basically, will it serve a purpose that’s useful to me, or will it just be there for others to see?

If you answer yes to the last question, then you should walk away from that item.

Save yourself before you can barely keep your head above water.

Why?

We all want to feel important, useful, and/or followed by other people. Unfortunately, there isn’t a point where one will stop in order to achieve this. They will hunt at any cost.

We not only lose ourselves in the process of impressing others, but we often can overshadow our own self-worth. We will beat ourselves up because we can’t meet those demands, which in turn will damage us. We will overlook our own needs and desires so that someone else’s is met.

So, why do we try so hard to impress others?

It’s because our society has taught us to do so. The world thrives off of this idea. The big-name company makes millions of dollars and collection companies stay in business because we will often try to buy something we can’t afford using credit. (Which is a talk for another day.)

And what do you do about it now?

  • Take positive steps in other directions. Ones that do not include “those” groups of people. Make different friends.
  • Look to do something for yourself. Like achieving a personal goal.
  • Plan out decisions, rather than making ones at the moment.
  • Know when to say no, and understand that people won’t like it.
  • Ultimately, do what’s best for you.

Why Do I Love Harry Potter?

The world of Harry Potter has contributed a great deal of happiness to many people. It has created a community that welcomes anyone. With the creation of Fantastic Beasts, The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Harry Potter is the idea that we can all carry our imagination firmly into adulthood. That the thoughts we had as children are never too childish to abandon, and I think that’s powerful. Powerful because our world lacks the amount of imagination and creativity that it needs. I say with certainty, that when people explore a love for Harry Potter it ultimately makes the world a better place.

Now the character of Harry was one that I had very little in common with. I lacked the physical appearance (although I greatly resembled that of Draco Malfoy), had both of my parents living, and did not live in Little Whinging, a fictitious town in Surrey just south of London. We did however share the uncertainty of a new world and aching for it’s true purpose. Harry encounters many situations that each one of us do in life: the death of family, being different from the status quo, and living up to people’s expectations. That’s something I adore about the character, he is just as human as we are. He isn’t rich, doesn’t have super powers, isn’t the most popular person in school, and doesn’t always get things right the first time. All of these I can admit to sharing.

During my childhood I had a strong imagination, and I used that imagination to establish worlds that I found in my favorite children’s books. Lucky enough for me, I was raised on a farm that had lots of land to play. This land gave me the space to do whatever I wanted. It was during this period of time when Harry Potter entered my life. I quickly learned to love the books. Even going a step further to reenact scenes from the story in my backyard. I was convinced that these stories were written for me. I remember having friends over and dressing up as our favorite characters, mine was always Harry. I had his house robes, his replica wand, and even a can of black hair paint so that I could look like him. Those were the best of times. Thankfully, my parents were very supportive in this period of time.

The films first entered my life at the age of five. My sister and cousin were headed off to the premier of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, and although I was absent from the screening, my sister gave a detailed review. At that moment I hadn’t realized how much of an impact it would ultimately have in my life. Sorcerer’s Stone would be the only movie from that point forward that I missed. I went to the premiere of all the following movies (often seeing it multiple times). Stretching ten spectacular years, I grew up with the films. I matured with the films and entered adulthood when the series concluded just as the actors had. It was sad to see the final film, as I knew something truly special had ended, but I was grateful that I could have been a part of the phenomenon from the very start.

Something I value greatly about this franchise, are the themes that J.K. Rowling incorporated. Friendship, love, and sacrifice to name a few. The friendship between Harry, Ron, and Hermione taught me that friendship is the strongest bond that any person can make with another. Friendship was something to trust, and something to value close to your heart. The theme of love in the story was done in a way where sacrifice became necessary. It was after all Lily’s love for Harry that saved him from He Who Must Not Be Named. It was love that made the story of Harry Potter possible. Love is an element that all humans look to find. Love is something worth sacrificing over. I did not understand just how important love was to the world around us until Harry Potter taught that to me.

The question I’ve received the most times from other fans has always been what my favorite book in the series is and without a doubt it’s book three. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban hit me at a rough patch in my life. I was the age of nine, and started to become more aware of the world around me. My innocent idea of the world was slowly being muddied away. I started to experience fear for the first time and realized that eventually I’d have to grow up and face those fears. Just like Harry does in the story. Another part about book three that ranks it number one is the message about depression. Rowling has expressed that the idea of the dementors came from her constant depression and although I didn’t understand the concept at that age, I could feel the darkness enter my life. Depression is something everyone struggles with at some period of their life, and the story shows us that it isn’t something to lose hope over. It is something to fight and push forward against. Albus Dumbledore said in the screen adaptation, “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” Although book three is quite darker than some of the other books, I believe it to be the best. 

When I entered adulthood I, without knowing, was slowly abandoning my imagination. I forgot about Harry Potter, the childhood that I created, and the person I truly was. It was not until years later when I reread the first book that I realized I was missing something important in my life. It was at this point that I reread the series, rewatched the movies, and entered the community once more. It was also at this moment where I would finally determine who I wanted to be for the rest of my life; A writer. From that point on I’ve welcomed back my true self, and wiped away the person that society wanted me to be. Each day writing gives me a nostalgic feeling from my painted black hair and robe wearing days. I can smile knowing that Harry Potter was at the nucleus of it all. 

In closing, Harry Potter is just as brilliant as the mind behind it and her mind is brilliant. I think it’s one of the reason I can connect to it so much. J.K. was at a point in her life when she made a decision, took a risk, and showed the world her dreams. I think that if anyone is to take anything from this it would be this statement. J.K. Rowling will leave this world better than when she entered it. Don’t we all want to leave the world better than it was before us? Whether it’s with literature, music, or perhaps just some honest kindness. The world has truly benefited from Harry Potter, I know that I have and I am truly thankful for her story telling. 

Happiness

People will argue that not everyone deserves to be happy, but I would disagree. Everyone deserves happiness at some point in their life, if not all throughout. Happiness is such an important concept for individuals to achieve because ultimately that is the human goal: to achieve our desires, to have the ones around us to share those successes with, and to be able to worry less and live more.

What are the basic qualifications one must do to meet this goal?

First, we need to understand what happiness is and know that it does not have a uniform meaning or message. It won’t be the same for everyone.

Happiness is the feeling of warmth around one’s heart and the enjoyment of constantly knowing that they’re doing the best that they can.

Happiness is different for each person and there is no universal definition as to what brings us the feeling. There are several things that make me happy but only a few that top them all. They include exploring with the ones I love, creating memories with my family, and finding a good inner relationship with myself. These things make me feel complete and provide me with peace.

Now more people than just myself could agree that those things make them happy as well, but do they have to meet those requirements to be happy? No, those are just things that bring my individual happiness. As a person needs to find what those are for themselves. No one has the ability, with confidence, to tell another what to do to make them happy. (I dare not try).

How through suffering we can find a deeper meaning

Through out life we are hit with events that stray us from the path of happiness. These events persuade us to think that it is truly impossible to be happy. Events as stated could be the loss of a loved one, losing your great job because the economy tanked, or getting into an accident that leaves you needing to take care of yourself medically. You can agree that these events are forms of suffering and misfortune.

Suffering, like happiness, is a point of view. We can look at terrible events and learn from them in a healthy way or we can simply do nothing. Understanding why things happen will ultimately change our lives forever, because you’ll never find that answer. There won’t be an explanation.

When a parent loses a child, that parent believes that all is lost. And although I believe no parent should have to bury their child, our world is cruel and wicked. The parent of a lost child will suffer but ultimately they will need to decide what to do next. They can forever put themselves in misery about what happened or they can make their child’s life meaningful.

My father passed away with cancer, and I ask myself often why he deserved that diagnosis. He, himself, asked that same question but there was never an adequate explanation, even from his doctors. As of lately, my happiness has dramatically dropped. I feel gutted on the inside. And what little feeling I have left inside me, is pain. It’s easier to let that pain consume me, but I know, now, in my heart that my father would have never wanted me to live a life of misery over this. Instead, he would have wanted me to enjoy life, smile, inside and out, and honor my wife and family. As hard as it is without him, and truly it is hard, I know that he will always be with me on the inside. And I find happiness in that thought.

Everyone deserves to be happy, but deciding what kind of happiness we want is the real question. We can search for a truer sense of happiness that lies in much more complicated things.

When you understand that happiness is a fluid, ever-changing and diverse concept, which applies to everyone in unique ways, you will gain the best piece of evidence to show yourself that you’re onto something special.

Enough of that.

Cheers,

Alexander