Can a Long Distance Relationship Really Work?

What society says about it  

A long distance relationship, statistically, shouldn’t work.

Many people will agree with that statistic enough to be skeptically when a relationship, as such, enters their lives.

They’re scared, can’t commit the effort, or don’t believe in that person enough to take the chance.

Now don’t get me wrong, a long distance relationship can be hard work. It was hard for both my wife and I, but we were both committed to making it work. Loving each other was enough for us to continue to pour effort in.

Don’t let statistics decide your life for you

When I met my wife she lived one-hundred miles away from me. Although that computes to roughly two hours of freeway driving, we never let that stop us. We commuted for a year and a half, and on several days a week. It never felt like a chore to us either. It was the one thing, I can honestly say, that I looked forward to most.

I remember driving home at 1:00 am sometimes, barely awake. I had to open the window, turn the music up very loud, or eat snacks to stay awake.

In the process of all the driving, I learned what love truly was, and how strong I felt that for her.

Because you’re putting in so much effort, it’s a different kind of relationship that you’ll experience, nothing like you’ve ever known before. There’s a passion that burns inside you for the other person.

Things will work if you want them to work

I’m a firm believer that if you truly want a relationship with someone to work, it will. Distance won’t be enough to deny any chemistry that lies between you two.

You’ll compromise on seeing your friends, cancel plans, or spontaneously take a trip to see the other person. It comes down to you making a choice.

A choice between risking everything, or doing what statistics say and accepting that it won’t work.

People will never understand why you’re doing what you’re doing and that’s okay. You don’t have to try to explain the feeling to them.

Only someone who is in a long distance relationship will understand.

You will come to a crossroad

In every long distance relationship you will come to a crossroad, where one of you will have to decide to make a compromise. Someone will have to move closer to continue to make the relationship work.

In most cases it’s an easy decision, one that you’ve both thought quite extensively about. You both often fantasize about it.

Moving closer is a big step because you may be leaving something behind in the process. Family, friends, a sense of comfort.

It is the riskiest move in the entire relationship, and unfortuneately, at this point everyone will think you’re absolutely crazy. Crazy for what you’re doing. Crazy for what you might be giving up to move.

When I moved to my wife, people thought I was crazy and that I wasn’t being realistic, but that never changed my mind. It was the best decision that I’ve ever made in my life.

Yes it can work

At the end of the day, a long distance relationship can work. Just remember these five points:

  1. Be open and honest with your partner
  2. Know what the next step in your relationship is
  3. Support each other when it’s difficult
  4. Put as much effort into the relationship as possible

and finally….

5. Don’t listen to other peoples opinions

All these points are reasons why you should not give up on someone who is a long distance away from you.

I never did, and on March 10th, 2019, after three years, I married my best friend.

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